Friday, June 30, 2017

heart in words and lines

While it is true that I write with my heart, the web timeline as to when my poems are posted does not necessarily reflect the actual time of the inspiration behind. I may be jumping for joy now but i can draft an emotional poem of what i experienced from the past.


LOVE IS MORE THAN COLD.

Many times I make the Spirit frown,
I let impurity poison my desires,
I breach my commitment to follow and obey,
Despite all these, You still love me.


When my little faith sinks my feet,
When mountains will not move,
When my heart is overwhelmed,
You fill me and I declare, "it is well with my soul."


Tomorrow is unknown to me,
I doubt if it will be brighter,
Worrying clouds my hope,
Anxiety I have for taking my eyes off the cross,
Yet Your grace never failed to restore every loss.


In all my troubled days,
Your very presence I search,
Near You is peace above the storm,
With You, there is no insecurity,
In You alone that life is truly beautiful.


Wait, most of my days are great,
Heavenly love gives me wings,
I rest well at night with a clear conscience knowing He forgives,
And in the morning, joy is renewed 
and ready to serve the Lord and all He loves.


That I could continue the journey with a smile,
That I endure the hills and valleys,
That I can see light in the dark tunnel,
That I can love unconditionally,
I owe them all to our GOOD LORD,


There was once that a friend asked a favor from me but the timing was bad that I barely said yes and that might have caused them discomfort. When I called to inform the person of my availability, I was told that it has been settled already. Things changed after said incident and I think I've lost a friend unintentionally. I am aware that my profession could be of help to many but they must understand that my availability is not that flexible and I also suffer from mood swings. I just hope that I'd be forgiven for failing their expectations of me. 

Nobody is perfect but God,
I have my own share of flaws called sin,
Yes, we should fix our eyes on the cross,
but FRIENDS with unforgiving hearts
are true stumbling stones in paths.

Here is more along said concept:


While we must not judge people
But if you opt to do so,
Please consider the good ones (deeds)
Over that single instance which was not necessarily wrong
But ain't favorable to you,
I'd say, harbor no bitterness
Forgive and save the relationship instead.

Lately, I was reminded of another failed love story. I've written several poems pertaining to my fondness over that person last 2016. He may prolly been my ideal man but he did not see me the same way. I admit that i exerted effort to keep distant from him and his family for the reason that i do not wish to have my "feelings" grow for nothing. Why for NOTHING, because it is wrong to like someone who is taken. Do not get me wrong, he was free and available when I met him BUT he had a girlfriend. Their relationship did not last for a year BUT he managed to find a new one shortly the his break-up. Honestly, how it all happened was not impressive at all that I am withdrawing my impression of him as IDEAL specially when he labeled my singleness as pathetic and proposed to be my boyfriend. After I gave him concealed hope or chance of "US" lines that he took back all he said about the "POSSIBLE US" and excused himself for those jokes. Two weeks after the bad joke that he presented to the public his new girlfriend.

Here is a poem that tells of that guy and his bad joke:

Hey! Mr. ideal lifetime partner,

I really liked you back then,
You do not wear the most handsome looks in town 
but He who lives in your heart captured my attention,
I thought there was a possibility of "us",
Not until a bad joke felt like a slap,
I never said No when you asked if there's a chance,
You withdrew, and that implied something, right?


Sunday, June 4, 2017

Freedom

What a relief that I finally did it,
Oh yes! I deleted my account in EFBI,
In this site is where I will pour my heart out,
I can tell here when I am loving and when I am just crazy.

Not much will know what a fool I am,
No one will judge if I skin myself in words,
I have no one to please and will not be tempted to judge others,
A quiet a life and a steady heart are all I now ask.

I am no perfect but I will not let others stumble because of me,
I am not giving out hate nor volunteering to be a channel,
This is freedom!
And I am keeping this private for now until I am strong enough
 to post inspiring thoughts from the bottom of my heart.


Saturday, January 21, 2017

i

Why does it hurt to see photos of you?
Why does news about you crumple my heart?
Why is it so hard not to think of  you?
Why do I love you this deep?

When I look at others, I see your face
When I talk to them, your jokes and promises I recall
I go to places and at times end up reminiscing
I write poems, you as the inspiration

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Greatest Fear

To lose my faith in God had always been my greatest fear while today i perceived the second greatest fear of mine that is to see the one who i used to love eye to eye and realize that I still love him and confirm that I mean nothing to him. I heretofore resolve that in all our next meetings, I would do what I did today, I will only see his shadows but never his soul. I just have to look away and I will be fine.

The heart can choose to love,
And it can choose to let go,
The heart forgets when thine eyes are close.





Friday, May 20, 2016

no more

who i thought would be my next inspiration is now taken
i have decided that i will have no crushes again
not unless he is courting me and he is a potential lifetime mate
for now, no more crushes, no more ideal men
just praying, plain prayers to be found

to the one i used to love, my first love in fact
i am sending out all signs inviting you to come back
call it selfish but this is my way of fighting hard what we had
if you will not remember my name then you would not remember our love
this is the last year that I will wait for you cause when I close the door, there is no more