i

Why does it hurt to see photos of you?
Why does news about you crumple my heart?
Why is it so hard not to think of  you?
Why do I love you this deep?

When I look at others, I see your face
When I talk to them, your jokes and promises I recall
I go to places and at times end up reminiscing
I write poems, you as the inspiration

Greatest Fear

To lose my faith in God had always been my greatest fear while today i perceived the second greatest fear of mine that is to see the one who i used to love eye to eye and realize that I still love him and confirm that I mean nothing to him. I heretofore resolve that in all our next meetings, I would do what I did today, I will only see his shadows but never his soul. I just have to look away and I will be fine.

The heart can choose to love,
And it can choose to let go,
The heart forgets when thine eyes are close.

no more

who i thought would be my next inspiration is now taken
i have decided that i will have no crushes again
not unless he is courting me and he is a potential lifetime mate
for now, no more crushes, no more ideal men
just praying, plain prayers to be found

to the one i used to love, my first love in fact
i am sending out all signs inviting you to come back
call it selfish but this is my way of fighting hard what we had
if you will not remember my name then you would not remember our love
this is the last year that I will wait for you cause when I close the door, there is no more

MY SICK ONE

who i thought would be my new love fell for someone else
he is now free but he has to take the healing path first
I hope he would not be fearful to try one more time

i limit not my options but he is my ideal one
there is no doubt that he submits to our dear Lord
he may be rough being a man in uniform but definitely gentle within

i observed changes in what he does and thinks
the stupidity resulting from an aching heart
heal him oh God, make him whole again

I saw you

Last Friday around 730 a.m. at Petron near Bulaong terminal while we gas up for our long drive bound to Kiamba, I saw a chow chow popping out its head outside the window car, what a cute dog I said and I remember Patchie then I was struck with a realization that I continued staring at the car---it was silver and horror dawned on me sighting the whole structure of the car, EXTRA-FAMILIAR until I set my eyes on the driver. 

As told though unsolicited, Patchie died but a new came forth named Pitchie.  Should I close my eyes always to miss this kind of encounters and reminders?