Baby

In the first chapter of the book IF YOU WANT TO WALK ON WATER, YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THE BOAT, Ortberg said that whatever hinders one from boldly allowing the Lord's wondrous works in his life is his boat. The boat could be in some form of fear, envy or even comfort that keeps a person pinned and too weak to take that leap of faith.

To those who are close to me they know that I have a problem with my monthly period cause it is more like of a semestral period to me or worst--annual. Since college I'm encouraged to visit a doc for it which I did last year with a gyne who recommended an endocrinologist for a better understanding of my hormones which irregular production threats my reproductive health. I even secured the required lab test which I perceived to be pretty abnormal because the values of the result are too far from the standard range. Of course, I am not in the position to interpret it but I am afraid to know what it truly says and for reasons of busyness that I again let a year went by without seeing the specialist. My fear stems from the issue of barrenness which my friends tell me as my self-created monster.

Some people are so into keeping pets and what they spend for it could send some children(those with less in life) to school. I am not against having pets but what I cannot understand is why adoption rarely desired when it actually depicts compassion. Some are not open about keeping children not of their own flesh because the child might have on his veins some bad blood and would just be a pain/problem. But I think the problem is more on fear of responsibility. I have so much more to say about adoption which is not necessarily limited on its legal definition and function but even on those little things that directly benefit the orphans. To adopt is not only to keep a baby and grow him as your own but reaches over a teen neighbor whose parents are both sick and has a handful of siblings to feed by sending provision to them or have the teen as your scholar.

What is the connection then about the boat, hormonal problem and adoption? I think my boat is the fear to know the real status of my reproductive health that is why I tried self-medication. Adoption could never be a bad idea but my fear is boosted by it. This fear truly affects my life like for instance I want to be a godly wife but I think no man would be very willing to marry a barren woman. This sounds prejudicial but i think most men will withdraw, think twice or would never give a chance for love to grow when they know of such fact at the inception of the relationship. Except those with a gift of single blessedness, it is normal to desire to marry and have children and to be fruitless would truly be a test of faith.

Before I'll be consistent indefinitely of rejecting the idea of boy-girl relationship, i ask you my readers to pray for me to be brave enough to go to the clinic on April and keep rejoicing with me of God's faithfulness. The fear is not constant though kasi dami exams na uunahin hahaha pero bitaw mas early kay mas maau para if mi prob jud kay maagapan pa :).. I want to see my lahi also and by God's grace the needs of my family would never bar us from living out the adoption advocacy.

I heard once a quotation that goes "you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family and i find it the opposite when God called us "My children, My bretheren, My family", a brother then is whoever God created and we chose in love to be a part of us.

PS: ninang kayong lahat ng babies ko :)

Lord bless us with God-honoring thoughts, a family who loves and erves You and a lovelife that is pure and true.