Lightning Strength

Just a few days before the 1st Sunday of October, fear got me,twas that moment that "flunking the bar" dawned on me, the thought sucked out the last drop of confidence that kept me going for months since the result was released last March. I cried a river, wahuhuhu, all the what ifs crushed my heart.

On the floor I bowed, i sang all my favorite praising songs to ease the pain and doubts while my tears kept flowing, will I make it this time Lord? I asked. All His promises and faithfulness in the past flashed in my mind, then i began to hope again. My voice had never been that hoarse(though i tried my hardest to keep my crying low otherwise it will resound in the whole 4th floor hehe). I gathered up myself, went straight to my bed, hugged my pillows and prayed. I begged God to pacify my troubled soul, to grant me unwavering faith and wisdom to pass the Bar.

While lying and thinking deep, lightning after lightning blasted outside my window. There! the Lord showed His might and power. Right! God, with a snap of Your fingers, my concerns turned into hope, peace and joy. I called it,the LIGHTNING STRENGTH!



picture taken from:environment.nationalgeographic.com

Genesis

with all the readings that i had, have and would have, being complicated in thinking is justified, isn't it? a better description is critical. Teaching children in Sunday school is not easy but very interesting. A few minutes is enough to read 2 chapters in the Bible but couching it into toddler's/kids language is a mile-walk at noon without umbrella. Far from complaining, in fact, I've realized that I really love it (simplifying facts to chewy stories without sacrificing the truth) and that i will definitely include it in my after-the-bar commitments. Seeing kids nod for yes-answered questions, hearing them thank God for a new shirt, beautiful teacher (me?), provision (food), good health, snacks, coloring and cutting crafts and memorizing MV feed my heart with heavenly treasures.

In Genesis, we learned that: there is nothing on earth that God did not create; there were two special trees in the middle of Eden, the serpent and its trickery, Adam and Eve's foolishness to wear itchy-leafy clothes resulting to the first sacrifice in history (leather to cover men's nakedness); Cain's vain efforts versus Abel's obedience; Seth was Enoch's great grandfather; Enoch is a picture of the rapture (did not share that, too meaty for the young minds); what a disfavor for the Lord to see people sin that He regretted making man but in that wicked generation, Noah just like his dad found favor before God because he walked with him; the century-in-the-making-ARK housed mr. and mrs. animals
,40 nights and 40 days it rained, the Big boat measured 300x50x30 cubits) rested in the mountains of Ararat....to be continued tomorrow July 21, 2013.....

With perseverance, the snail reached the Ark.
-Charles Spurgeon

this was taken a month ago, i think 5 were not included in the picture (you know kids). two weeks ago, Ben and Alisha from Idaho came to join us in fellowship with their 5 fruits. Cute Caucasian kids, blue eyes :) I hope everybody will show up tomorrow for the rainbow, in Jesus name.

i set Dux's rainbow as my covenant to improve this post in November :)

God bless u all.

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth...
praying and excited to have my nephews and nieces as my students soon :)

looks like he is about to cry
NO
that is his normal expression
it is with the shape of his eyes
and the bright sun

the last four pics were taken last Sunday, July 21 :)



Though not with water anymore but God will surely destroy this world, we should therefore embrace God's saving grace through faith in Christ Jesus. John 3:16

Darren, my nephew

i love kids. i love Darren, my nephew :) I am looking forward to the birth of my niece 3 months from now. Another baby to cuddle, to shower with kisses, and to influence. Lord, be with the children of kuya Ian, may they grow according to Your ways.

27 @ 27

the root cause

A season to mature in faith under His mercy and Grace :)

Who would ever guessed my journey to be a lawyer would take this long?

Just a thought of my law school years would immediately wet my eyes, all those unnecessary worries and sacrifices broke my heart and back. The load was too burdensome because I lifted it on my own. I prayed and i prayed a lot, as much of my water intake but total surrender remained an option over sometime. There were days that i missed reading the bible because i need to rush, instead of focusing on God, i fixed my eyes on the piled "to-reads", the unbearable yoke.

By God's grace, I finished the course but stress made my tummmy acidic. To avoid reflux, i slowed down during review. The set readings were covered but i lacked mastery, the consequence, i failed the Bar exam. You are right, twas my fault, my bad.... Really? OF COURSE NOT, I mean yeah,human factor can influence/modify the outcome but if a person believes that God is in control then there is a deeper reason why such failures were allowed.

Honestly, i have every tendency to become proud. I work hard to be marked as witty. A good character is ideal but I believe intelligence makes one suave. It does not sound right to be kind but dumb. However, with that we cannot make any conclusion because there are other variables that affect one's disposition. As for me, education contributes well in developing good behavior but it is the LORD who brings out the best in us. Flunking the bar is a good reminder to stay humble.

The Bar waits for me, I would become a lawyer soon and the comforting thought is, I don't know how but I believe He can make me one.

For every "bad" experience that taught me a value and for the victories thereafter, all credits belong to the Lord. The above-mentioned pursuits still matter but growth in a loving a relationship with Jesus is of priority. My desires and life standards now revolve and are based to what the bible sets. These unceasing joy, hope, strength, faith, love, mercy, friends, family, aspirations, conduct, and etc are present and on-going because once in my life I FELL iN LOVE WITH JESUS who first loved me.

All will come into place All because He loves us.

Demi Lovato - Heart Attack (Official Video)

i found my song for u.


Puttin’ my defences up
‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If I ever did that
I think I’d have a heart attack

Never put my love out on the line
Never said yes to the right guy
Never had trouble getting what I want
But when it comes to you, I’m never good enough
When I don’t care
I can play ‘em like a Ken doll
Won’t wash my hair
Then make 'em bounce like a basketball

But you make me wanna act like a girl
Paint my nails and wear high heels
Yea you, make me so nervous
That I just can’t hold your hand

Chorus:
You make me glow, but I cover up
Won’t let it show, so I’m
Puttin’ my defences up
Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If I ever did that
I think I’d have a heart attack (x3)

Never break a sweat for the other guys
When you come around, I get paralyzed
And everytime I try to be myself
It comes out wrong like a cry for help
It’s just not fair
Pain’s more trouble than love is worth
I gasp for air
It feels so good, but you know it hurts

But you make me wanna act like a girl
Paint my nails and wear perfume
For you, make me so nervous
That I just can’t hold your hand

chrorus.

The feelings got lost in my lungs
They’re burning, I’d rather be numb
And there’s no one else to blame
So scared I take off and I run
I’m flying too close to the sun
And I burst into flames

chrorus.

Do not waiver

Aiming for the stars remains a crave
However, the thin air may choke the passion
If only the Owner lends me a sure portal to get there

As practiced, i pinned a timetable in my study area
Placing the wall clock in the most visible spot
Deactivating my FB account temporarily, a wise idea, maybe

What a joy not to know everything
And that hope that the end is a sure victory is a constant push
More faith, more prayer and more participation, i love to keep

My faith is like Christopher, fragile
But always safe in the hands of the gentle Master
Delay is part of the journey but like the doll, life is cute :)

lingaw japun, praise God for the will to keep on :)

Romans 8:28

what's next?

what could be God's plan for allowing me to recover my account?