I follow them online at www.guidelines.org.
It is Christmas season but their site is flooded with articles on marriages. Here are two thereof both by Harold Sala.
THE ORIGINAL PLAN FOR MARRIAGE
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Being happily married is life’s greatest challenge. Why? Lots of reasons—unrealistic expectations, selfishness, taking advantage of the other person, our refusal to communicate, to compromise, and to forgive.
Socrates, the Greek philosopher, was once asked by a young man if he should marry. Socrates replied, “You will be sorry no matter which you do.” As Gary Smalley said, “The most difficult years of marriage are those following the wedding.” Getting married is an event but staying married is an achievement, in some cases the crowning achievement of a person’s life.
Why the irresistible attraction to a member of the opposite sex, something that is physical and emotional, yet so challenging and difficult when it comes to living in harmony?
I don’t know about you, but I have found that when I buy something, usually mechanical, and it doesn’t work right, I ask myself, “What did I do with the instruction booklet that came with this?” Then I dig it out and read the manual, the how-to-do-it booklet that came with the product.
A lot can be gained when it comes to understanding the purpose of marriage by going back to the original owner’s manual and determine why God so designed us that we are drawn to each other. The historic battle of the sexes, believe it or not, is the result of centuries of misunderstanding, of fighting for what you think you deserve.
God did not put within your heart the desire to share your life with someone to make you miserable but rather to fulfill the very purpose for which He created you. Let me explain.
First, may I point out that God didn’t make woman by taking Eve from Adam. Are you ready for this? He created Eve from a substance taken from Adam, which is why Adam, laying eyes on Eve for the first time, exclaimed that she was his own “flesh and bone.” She was a perfect match–same stuff he was made of, a compelling, irresistible attraction, not simply sexual but at a level that meant the emptiness in his life would be filled. There was an immediate union intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and, eventually, physically.
That old English word “helpmeet” used to describe what Eve should do is obsolete, misunderstood, and implies a position of inferiority. To translate, the Hebrew word literally means “helper suitable for him.” Based on how the word is used in other contexts, it means “matching him, beside him, opposite of him.”
Scripture described this complimentary union as “one flesh”—a powerful description of how each find in the other complete fulfillment and union. Reading your Old Testament you will find that the expression “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” was used to express a kinship relationship—a reminder that we have common roots and ancestors and, therefore, should live in peace and harmony.
It’s time to declare an end to the battle of the sexes, fly the white flag, break bread and reconnect. Jesus looked upon married couples as one entity—not two people fighting to keep the other from taking advantage, but two unique individuals who compliment each other in such a way that each makes the other a better person and each accomplishes far more because of the positive influence of the other.
As Joe Murray put it: “Marriage should do a duet—when one sings, the other claps.” It’s should not be to think alike but to think together, not to compete but complete, not to endure but to celebrate. It’s not the impossible dream but the weaving together of two lives in a bond that is inseparable. That’s God’s plan and purpose.
Resource reading: Genesis 2
WHAT IS A "HELPMEET"?
And the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him.” Genesis 2:18, NLT
Words convey powerful images, and once that image is fixed in your mind, it’s difficult to attach picture or meaning to it. Take, for example, the word, “helper!” Say, a painter’s helper. The helper carries the bags, lays out the paints, cleans the brushes, does the dirty work. OK, a good helper may even do some preliminary sketches for the artist, but let’s face it, the helper is an inferior. OK, both may be artists but there is a pecking order and it is the artist who puts the finishing touches on any palate and signs his name in the corner claiming ownership. Never let it be thought that the helper is an equal.
That’s exactly the mental image you get when you read Genesis 2 and discover that Eve was “a helper suitable for him”—meaning, Adam. OK, it looks like Adam is the boss, and Eve is the—yes, “helper!” And that has been the mentality of men for centuries, described as male chauvinism today.
Want to get married in Papua New Guinea? You can buy your bride. The cost? Fifteen to twenty pigs. It’s still done in the tribal areas where women are considered chattel. And what do the women do in that culture? Three responsibilities: work the garden, do the cooking and cleaning, and have children, which, of course, means she’s available on demand.
But is this what Moses intended us to know of God’s purpose for Eve? May I be so bold as to say, “No way! Not in the least!” “OK,” you may be saying. “You just knocked down centuries of tradition. Tell us what it really means.”
First, notice that God didn’t make man, take a look at him and say, “I think I can do better than that,” making woman on the second try. He made man, saw his loneliness, and saw that something was missing, something tremendously important—someone to whom he could relate, who understood him, and would love and care for him. From flesh and bone taken from Adam, God built a woman (which, incidentally, is a literal translation of what Moses wrote).
Remember she is of the same substance as Adam—neither better nor inferior. Now, if you would, please remember that God is repeatedly called man’s helper, which is a position of honor, not weakness. It is the image of a father helping his son across a difficult ravine, or a mother helping her child learn his letters. God certainly is not on man’s level, and man isn’t equal to God—though some really think they are. As Katharina Penner says: the issue is “not in status and strength, endurance or preparedness for the difficulties of life, but in the fact that a human needs help and that God wants to fulfill that need.”
Adam recognized Eve—as an equal, as part of himself, one who stood alongside him, who would walk hand in hand with him—not as an inferior, a servant to do his bidding.
Forget about the notion that helpers are inferiors—way down on the social scale. God’s intention was this woman whom He created was to complete the male and he, in turn, would cherish her, honor her, and love her with all his heart.
Together they would meet each other’s needs, each possessing what the other lacked, and as “one flesh”—to use the term found five times in the Bible—they would reproduce themselves in a family. God’s intention was that together they would form an indissoluble union, standing against the winds of changing cultural ideas and difficulties.
Marriage is a living relationship, not simply an agreement two people make signing a paper called a marriage license, but a covenant that keeps our world sane.
Resource reading: Genesis 3.
It is not just a ring but a covenant
To stay faithful and pure to my one and only
Before and after the marriage ceremony
I don't wear any jewelry but last week I was moved to buy a ring :-) I intended to go for a PURITY/CHASTITY ring which is not in any particular form. I do not like it to be eye catching but simple therefore all those with stones were not my options. I love it to be thin too to add to its simplicity but engraving would be difficult. TAKE A LOOK, i end up paying for a wedding ring haha :-) and i have engraved in there "BRIDE OF CHRIST". This ring will remind me never to give myself to any man but my husband and only AFTER marriage. May God give me a pure heart always and keep my body pure until the day my Prince Blessing may validly claim what was preserved to be his exclusively.
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